Saturday, July 10, 2021

A Memory of French Life

After one of our long stays in Paris, I wrote down many of my memories of what we had experienced. The following is my memory of a French institution: the Sunday Lunch. We were invited to accompany French friends to their relatives' homes or to homes of other friends, as well as being invited to their house or apartments for this traditional meal. Our two stays took place around 30 and 45 years ago, and I don't know if things have changed. I thought it would be good to share it with this year's blog event Paris in July

Sunday Lunch 

Dining room in our friend Michelle's counry
house near Cotignac, France, 1994.
Imagine that you are visiting in France, and that a French family has invited you for Sunday lunch. This is still a family institution in France. You will probably come at around 1:00, as invited, perhaps with a friend whose family this is. You will find that there are already several women in the kitchen (if it's not too tiny) peering into covered dishes or pots on the stove, discussing the finishing touches on a lamb roast or a sauce, or making the dressing for the lettuce salad that often appears between the main course and the cheese course. Men and guests who aren’t in the inner family circle — such as you — will be talking to each other and possibly drinking an aperitif such as Pastis and water, port wine, or Scotch. You will be introduced to everyone, shake hands, and probably chat for a few minutes until you find out who you have the most in common with, or who is really interested in asking you something about the US and your impressions of France.

The grandmother will be there. She may be so old that her oldest daughter, sitting with her, looks just as old as she does. Or she may be a very young grandmother whose grandchild is a gurgling baby. Friends or relations of various generations will be invited, depending on the occasion, and will be arriving at various times. There will certainly be some teenagers or college-age children or grandchildren around, talking to each other, not talking much to the adults — but somehow always politely to their grandmother. One teenager will certainly have to dash to another event or join some friends somewhere shortly after lunch. Another will go off to do homework.

Lunch at a French country house in 1989.
Our host Jean is at left, next to Len.
The favorite place to have Sunday lunch is at a country house. It may be close or far away from the owners’ normal home. It may be shared by several siblings, or owned by a grandmother and effectively shared by her descendants, especially if it was originally the home of some of the older generation. The furniture will be somewhat old-fashioned, and if the house is really old and hasn’t been improved, the rooms may seem quite dark, and the plumbing may be rather primitive. The kitchen will always clearly be the emotional center of the house -- and usually much larger than the kitchens people have in the city.

Monet’s house at Giverny embodies the French dream of what a country house should look like. His kitchen and dining room must have been the scene of many country lunches on quiet Sunday afternoons. There were certainly meals outdoors — you can see them in paintings at the Musee d’Orsay. I suspect that the French families who line up at Giverny on Sunday afternoon, presumably after such a lunch, are fantasizing about how their family would use this beautiful and tasteful house, as well as looking over the garden where Monet painted the famous water lilies.

In the country, a few families cook on an open fire — for example, several kinds of steaks and chops or skewers with cubes of meat, a few onions, and smoked sausages. A student-aged members of the younger generation may be the one to build the fire, as barbecue is not the patriarchal institution in France that it is in the US. Sometimes various members of the family will bring an appetizer, potato or rice salad, or a dessert to supplement the hostess’s food. More distant guests, such as you, may have brought a bottle of wine.

Monet: The Luncheon (1873)
Even outdoors, there are often china plates with silver or stainless utensils and often cloth napkins, even for a large number of guests. If lunch is in the city or in case of rain or bad weather, there is usually a big dining room or space in the kitchen to serve the entire crowd. Outdoors, folding tables will be set up and covered with tablecloths. Picture everyone seated around the huge table in the beautifully decorated dining room at Giverny, with its yellow-painted chairs, yellow walls covered with Japanese prints, and yellow-rimmed plates and Chinese blue and white porcelain. Sunday lunches, both indoors and outdoors, are also often depicted in French films, so you may want to visualize your favorite actors and actresses around you delicately tasting the dishes and sipping their wine.


Our friend Michelle served this dessert at a Sunday lunch
at her apartment in Paris a few years ago.
When the call “à table” is finally heard, the women will bring out the food, and the host will open a bottle of wine or two, depending on the number of guests. Picture the first course, probably some delicious home-made terrine or special smoked meat or pate; in winter you may have soup, and in summer you may see some perfectly ripe, sliced tomatoes. Someone will cut up the long loaves of bread to be eaten with every course, and men are expected to fill empty wine glasses when they see them. Leg of lamb is very popular for the main dish on Sunday, often served with green beans or potatoes, but there may be a roast beef or the meat that was cooked on the open fire, and another vegetable dish such as ratatouille. Green salad follows, then a platter of cheeses from which you can sample any number. Home-made chocolate mousse or tartes, or a fruit salad, or a selection of such wonders are probably served for dessert. Coffee is served last, separately, with sugar lumps. In some families, the division of the meal into formal courses is somewhat relaxed on Sundays, especially if there are other activities or if a sporting event will soon be starting and the TV is beckoning some of the diners.

During the meal, you will probably discuss the food, the wine, the preparation of food, and other meals comparable to this one eaten in other places. Other topics of conversation vary of course depending on the interests of the guests. The teen-agers and students may tell about what they are doing. 

Very young children learn politeness and table manners at such meals; they are often expected to sit patiently throughout a great deal of the meal and to try each course. Children in France seem to lack the resistance to vegetables and to mixed dishes that American children get by with. However, for impatient or uncooperative children there may be an indulgent aunt or grandmother who will let them go directly to the dessert or will let them go away and play. 

At the end of the meal, there are a lot of plates, wine glasses, and utensils to be washed, dried, and put away. Electric dishwashers are now quite common in French country houses, probably because there are so many meals of this sort; otherwise several of the women and possibly men will go off to the kitchen to take care of the clean-up. Monet’s kitchen had a huge sink where I imagine the servants washed up, but I have never seen any sort of servant in a modern French home.

Blog post © 1991, 2021 mae sander. 

11 comments:

Iris Flavia said...

It is so wonderful when all the family is together!
You age a lot slower like that, you feel needed and not like here sent off to a nursing home.
When I was in Louviers (near Paris) as exchange student it was just the mother and her two kids, but the food was great and it took forever in the evening.
In Calais I left my car at a farmer´s place and we were invited for supper - it was as you described, all family together, it was wonderful. The Great-Granpa yelled questions over to me, it was cute.
In Tuscany we visited a farm and the at least 90-year old Donno served us all with wine and was so happy. I think this might prevent Alzheimer´s and Co, too. Being a member of a loved family and have "duties" instead of sitting in a corner all day, waiting for death to come.
Great, yummy memories you have!

Deb Nance at Readerbuzz said...

We spent every Sunday afternoon at my European grandparents' house when I was a kid. We'd eat around 1 pm and then spend the rest of the afternoon at the table talking. Happy memories.

Nil @ The Little House by the Lake said...

I really enjoyed this post Mae. I was not lucky enough to attend a Sunday lunch at a French country house while in France, but your post took me there.

Carola Bartz said...

Ah, how lovely!!! It reminds me of the French meals we were invited to as well. I always enjoyed how much time eating the several courses meal would take, the conversation, the feeling of belonging. Thank you for this wonderful post.

Tandy | Lavender and Lime (http://tandysinclair.com) said...

What beautiful collection of memories. Our granddaughter is expected to sit at the table for an entire meal, but we have not progressed to so many courses just yet.

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I felt like I was there with every sentence you wrote. I would love to attend one of these incredible functions. They sound wonderful. Being of British decent myself, we always had salad after the main course, not before. People are always surprised when I save most of my salad until after the main course in a restaurant. Upbringing has so much to do with it. I think that is what the French must instill in their young, too.

DVArtist said...

Wow this is wonderful.

Book of Secrets said...

Your descriptions are so lovely. I can picture myself there!

Jeanie said...

Mae, this is so beautifully written, i feel as though I have been invited in by a dear friend to meet family and others and enjoy a fabulous meal at this table -- indoors or out. How fortunate you are to have experienced this wonderful occasion first hand! It's 7:30 -- we've not yet had dinner and I find myself now very hungry!

Lisbeth said...

Wonderful post, I was there! Sounds wonderful with these Sunday lunches, but I don't know if I would like to do it every week. I would have liked to join this one though. To get a little bit of French flair and French food and wine. I think I am getting hungry here.

Lisca said...

What a lovely post. I felt I was there, being invited. It is very much like Italy. I have lived in Italy for many years and I am used to these sort of meals with many family members and friends and people popping in. The more the merrier as there would always be lots of food.
It's something I missed very much when I moved from Italy to England.People would pop in or come and visit. But as soon as you mention food, they quickly go away. That used to hurt me. I consider myself a good cook, but nobody ever wanted to stay and have some food. Not even a drink (apart from a cup of tea). I have got used to it, and have learnt that English people need formal invitations.
Your blog post took me back to those good times. Thank you.
Lisca